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15 Ways Estate Planning Avoids Family Feuds

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Good estate planning can go a long way in avoiding family feuds.  Love, money, family heirlooms, grief, anger, disability, and death, when combined, pose disaster for the best of families.  Here are 15 ways that you can use estate planning to avoid family feuds.

  • Work with a qualified estate planning attorney.
  • Disclose family dynamics to your estate planning attorney.
  • Put your wishes in writing.
  • Let your family know that you’ve done estate planning.
  • Ask those you’d like to name as trusted helpers (i.e. executor, trustee, guardian, and power of attorney agent) if they are able and willing to serve.
  • Hold a family meeting and communicate your choices to your family.  Let them know why you’ve selected Sam as your trustee and Bill and Betsy as guardians of your minor children.  If you’re giving unequal inheritances or inheritances in trust, explain why.  (Your estate planning attorney can help you if you’d like.)
  • If you want to be an organ donor, put it in writing.
  • Put your funeral and burial wishes in writing.
  • Devise a system for tangible personal property (i.e. jewelry, tools, china, books, and photographs) to be distributed.  (These items cause more feuds than the cash.)
  • Execute a living will.
  • Update your estate plan every three to five years or upon the occurrence of a significant life event (i.e. divorce, marriage, new children, new assets, or move to a new state.)
  • Let your estate planning attorney know if you have a blended family.
  • Don’t have your children from a first marriage wait until the death of your second spouse to get their inheritance.  If you do, the relationship will be ruined.
  • Leave an ethical will/love letter explaining to each loved one how and why you love them.
  • If you leave a special gift to one individual of a class (i.e. children or grandchildren), leave a gift for each and every one of the class.
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